I’m not a poet but

This is definitely from my archives but I’ve kinda been feeling like this lately. It’s weird (click on image for source reference)

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But I love myself

Yes I’m insecure

And I’ve found a way

To degrade myself being by

Creating a checklist of

What I eat

But I love myself

Although I ruin the

Things I touch

Because I assumed

My entity consists of nothing

More than impurities that are waiting to be cleansed

But I love myself

Because I love too much

My heart aches at the thought of how

The trees outside my room might wither and die

The same time I get to figure what life is truly about

So I convince myself

That I love myself

Because I drag my body out the room every morning

Praying this day won’t be the same

As the ones before

That the hurt is gone

And I have no past

But I love myself

Is what I’d love to hear

Instead of the beat of my heart

Against my ear

Trying to remind me that life continues

Ceaselessly

Not wait for me or nobody in between

So I hate myself

But it just feels the same

The difference in the truth that

Before I had romanticised my loneliness

That the love that I felt was something

That I try to learn all by myself